How to Be Supportive
By Faith Overton
Most feel that in order to be supportive of someone you must fully agree on everything .. not true ! Real support comes often when we disagree but still are able to support that person through their time of difficulty. This is a hard lesson , especially for the nurturing personality types as we tend to just “people please “ are way around any problem . That is a band aid to a bigger problem ; stand firm in truth while loving someone through conflict.
In the past month we became a temporary foster family for a little girl, this little girls mom has made choices that I personally don’t agree with. The product of some of her choices led to us becoming a temporary safe place for her daughter to land. Now I’m not speaking anything that I have an already spoke to the individual involved, what you’ll learn about me is I am a straight shooter 100% of the time in about 85% of the time I’m not in trouble because of it. We need to speak truth to the people in our lives even when its uncomfortable. However , maintaining balance of how we can show love and support.
For my situation I’m able to show loving support by loving this little girl as if she is my own . It’s what any mother would hope for in these delicate situations. It takes conscious effort to stand firm in my belief that we should always speak truth but we should do so with the intention of loving that person.
Now what does that mean exactly? It means that you can tell the person the truth as long as it is to bring them love through a better life. You are not going out of your way to speak harshness and criticism that is not in anyway going to help that person grow in one way or another. Yes your observation 80 factual but if it is only out of spite it does no good for you or the other person. True support is learning how to disagree with someone while loving them as the mess they are . My mess is my mess and I would hope that if I shared it with someone they would be able to find a way to love me through it, hold me too what I need to be held to, and speak truth when I need to hear truth.
May we all be truth speakers while supporting those God has placed in our path.