Resilience

By Rachel Cringoli

Often, it’s thought that resilient people have gone through some really hard times. True enough statement, yes.

But there is a big component that’s often overlooked when we think of this resilience.

Every single human being on this Earth has gone through a tough time. Loss is a normal human experience. Grief is a normal human emotion. Change is inevitable, yet it often takes us by surprise.

How we process these emotions, and use these experiences to learn, that’s the secret sauce. This is the difference of a person who is stuck, and someone that is able to recover and move on, resiliently.

The missing key to becoming this person is to use the hard times to your advantage.

Think of a difficult time you’ve experienced. Perhaps losing a job, or a loved one. Moving to a new place and not knowing anyone. Getting ridiculed in front of a large group of people.

How did that make you feel? What did you learn from the experience?

How we think about these experiences, is then how we act.

So, people that have resilient qualities, are those that have faced such hard times, and change, with a mindset of curiosity. They choose to learn, and to actively seek out reasons why something happened.

They curiously problem-solve, to find a solution.

They don’t attach the experience to their sense of identity or worth.  They don’t hold onto blame or shame.

If you’re struggling with change, or loss, where can you be curious around the experience? What questions can you actually solve, to give your mind some peace?

This is the foundation to resilience.