Things We Miss

By Shanae Godley

**Let me start by sending a prayer to anyone who’s missing someone this Christmas season. May your homes and hearts be filled with love and cheer.**

Now, as I ponder our proximity to the end of the year, I realize that I’ve missed so much in 2019. I’ve missed deadlines. I’ve missed the mark on reaching some of my goals. I’ve missed some of my kid’s sporting events and maybe even a bill payment here or there. I even missed a few traditions this year, like putting up a Christmas tree and attending parades.

If I can be totally honest, none of those things mean much to me right now. During the Christmas season, the real thing I’m missing is my loved ones who are not around. I actually made most of my deadlines and hit a few goals this year, but I cannot have my loved ones back. 

I miss my Mom’s love and my Grandma’s good cooking. I miss their presence in my life, the wisdom they shared, and the hugs they gave. I miss the smell of Grandma’s house on Christmas Eve and the laughter that filled her house on Christmas day. 

I heard the O’Jays sing that “Christmas just ain’t Christmas without the ones you love.” No Christmas has been the same since they passed away. 

I’ve been trying to understand the meaning of the word miss, as it’s used often in our community. I learned that while miss can mean that you didn’t hit a target or make your goal, it also means absence. 

So, I wanted to know “What’s opposite of the word absence?” I looked it up and the first word listed was “abundance.” This reminded me of two things:

#1 – When I hit the mark on my goals I will receive a large amount, or abundance, of something. It could be a large amount of gratification, acknowledgment or fulfillment, or it could be the bounty that’s due once the target is reached. In the words of my teenagers, “pass. me. my. coins.”

#2 –  When you’re missing someone, it’s normal to feel a sense of lack, emptiness and dissatisfaction, which tends to leave an unfulfillable void in your life that one might compare to having a hole in the heart. 

The good news is abundance is the opposite of absence. There’s a good for every bad, so where there is absence, there is the potential for abundance. 

If you are missing loved ones and feeling a void in your heart, I encourage you to fill your heart with good things like joy, love, and peace. To surround yourself with positive energy and people who care. Participate in satisfying activities that bring joy to you and those around you. I guarantee that the joy you give to others will come back into your life someday. You just wait and see. 

Though we can’t have the person back and we will miss them in our lives forever, it is utterly important that we fill up on good things that will fill the proverbial hole in our hearts and bring joy to others. Tis the season!

Happy Holidays!