A Story of Self Doubt
By Faith Overton
There is so many ideas on thoughts to write this week and honestly it’s been a WEEK , if ya know what I mean . The kind that knocks you on your butt and make you calculate the extract mount of chocolate you have in the home . So I thought instead of fun facts or holistic remedies I’d try be a little uncomfortable with you and share something personal . See I’m a giver type, more listener than expresser but I’m trying to be less guard . I want to be heard like any other human being but I suffer from self doubt . I doubt that I’ll ever be successful . So how do you deal with doubt ? Well it’s really just a branch from fear and once you identify the fear you typically can diagram it to a solution . Sounds easy , right ? Absolutely not ! A thing called human error comes into play . Where it is all perfect on paper until you add a living , breathing and free will human to come and make it messy. Personally my life has only gotten better from adding the “mess”. Okay here comes the sharing part ( yuck ).
I met my husband several years ago and I won’t bore you with the details of our romance but a defining moment happened I want to share with you as maybe it will help . We had a fight … eh more he was upset about something and I refused to engage emotions at all instead I thought washing dishes was far more pressing ( I clean when I’m stressed ). He made me face him . I looked him in the eyes as he cried , tears for me not at me and something broke within me . I realized he was letting me see his flaws, failures and doubts without any hesitation. The correct thing would be to respond and comfort at this point , yeah no . I wasn’t the Faith then I am now , I was uncomfortable to be uncomfortable especially with failure or self doubted . Always willing to forgive someone because inside it is always my fault for failing them in the first place . After so awkward pauses I shared … and shared … and Shared . I gave that poor man all the failure I had carried all my life and with it several reasons he should leave while we were just “dating “. I’ll never forget his response . He told me he loved me and no perceived failure would ever change that . That man stared into my self doubt and loved me more than I could offer myself. It inspired me . This moment changed me . The next day I called my dad , which I never did at the time , and demand to take him to lunch . I told my dad I was going marry this guy and he better get on board or deal with it .
How’s that for killing self doubt ? All I ever needed wasn’t someone to motivate me , give me facts , or all that other ( helpful at times ) stuff we see in the world today . No . I needed someone to look at my mess and love me through my doubt . An anchor when I drift until I could become my own unloveable rock .
Friends I encourage you to admit when your drifting in doubt and need an anchor . If you are in a safe , grounded place then look out for your drifting friends . Call the drifters out on their crap! Wake them up because no one needs to carry doubt & failures with you. Be an anchor , find your anchor ! #selfdoubt #failure