By Aron Daniels
A couple of weeks ago my Aunt passed away unexpectedly. Yesterday her husband of many years passed away also, of cancer. In our family it has impacted a lot of people and we are left with memories and trying to wrap our heads around this new hole in the world.
We lose people, and it’s devastating. Sometimes people pass away and sometimes we grieve the loss of relationship with people who are still here. Grief comes when there has been a lot of love and now that hole sits right where that relationship used to be. Whatever that circumstance looks like, sometimes we have grief.
As many people are in the world, are the ways in which we see the world, and so are the ways that we grieve. When we hit these losses, it’s easy to look at the ways someone else is coping and decide that they are not handling things right. In a place where we would cry, why is that person acting normal? In a place where we would be angry, why has that person melted into non-action? Grief may take you months or years, and for another it may take days or weeks, and it may seem like a betrayal to pass through that season so quickly.
People are complicated and messy. People are diverse and reactive. There is not a “right” way to walk through hardship. If you need to be mad, disconnected, medicated, spiritual, busy, distracted, extremely involved in the details, emotional, or any other thing that helps you cope and work through your feelings about that loss, you have permission. What is right for your heart and helps you adjust to the loss that is so close to you, doesn’t need to look good for those people around you. Also, when you see others around you grieving in a way that you don’t understand give them grace. None of us walk the same in our lives, and we need to let people walk through loss in the way that is going to allow them to get through it. Be honoring for those around you who are in grief.